To speak generally in an honest manner...I see myself as a narcissist. Not because I have advance value when compared to anyone but I cannot accept almost anything that will significantly harn the good in me. I do not know how unpleasant it can be to simply affect all my well-deserved peace. It is scary at some point because it makes me feel mighty, possesed and super-fake-ficial to myself. "Oh lord, I am going nowhere." Have your little voice inside your deepest heart said that to you? I guess, yes! You know what, it is actually a sign, a very bad sign for you. It demands you to be relevant but never asked for you to give positive result to it because it exist as nothing but a sign. I know that we humans are capable of doing the same mistakes for millions of times but we are genuinely better than that! I say why do not we be a hero to ourselves by only embracing how good we are at making ourselves better than yesterday. I literally think that anyone has to start somewhere before it is too late? Agree?
Do you ever just admire this one person and feels both of you belongs to be together..? Well, of course right? Unfortunately, not all feelings has the opportunity to even initiate that one mystique process because it has nothing to do with our feelings but what can we offer them as person instead. From my point of view, "offer" should have never exist in the sense of materialism because nothing lasts forever in this world. I know that it sounds a bit cliqué but I do not think it is fair to apply hierarchy in the sense of what you have. Also, I know for some reasons that you prefer calling it as a necessity...but many people made it as their god. Now that I think it is safe to say that offering our true-selves to be loved is what it needs to initiate the whole process just because I think we are all deserved to be loved for who we are, right? This means that if they are not interested with what we can offer to them, then let's just forget how we feel towards that person and creep out from that path. Well, we cannot just defy our self-respect over our stupid feelings right? I guess that is just what it is. Note that, I am not being biased because I only speak in behalf of my opinion and I am ready to hear your ways to find your soulmate. So, do not get me wrong..alright?
I am about to sleep but I have to finish what I have started right. So, I have this final thought that bothered me, "are you an honest person?" I do not know in what form of honesty do I have for the time being because it is hard for me to actually give an answer but I know one thing about me that might answer it. I do not think I am an honest person because I am partially honest to myself. I always had this uneasy feeling of doing what-not. I cannot restrain myself from that because I think I need space and a few moments to re-track my focus but in the end of the day, it brought me to dark side of the world. I ended procrastinating than progress-tinating. Anyway, these few months has been the best self-motivator for me to groom my attitude espcially of being honest to myself. So far it has grant me this cool sense whenever I was about to lie myself..eg; ko nda ksian ka tipu diri sendri? Ko nda rsa bodoh ka tipu benda yg suda kau tau mmg tipu? I admit that there are some cases that I sometimes lied to myself..but at least from what I know..myself owns more policies that myself used to own before..it is actually very true that honesty is the best policy🙂 Now let us take this moment to ask ourselves this question: "How can we even be honest with people around us if we cannot even be honest with ourselves?" I believe that there are many other ways to emphasize regarding to this matter, so I will just have to leave that question for you and me and use our brain to think a valid answer for ourselves.
I can't believe this entry took me 3 hours to finish but nevermind, my job here is done. I hope that I have wrote something useful or acceptable for you in order to be always sustainable. I am just a fallible human, so I believe that not everything that I have wrote in this entry has to be true. Thank you for reading. I really appreciate your time. I really do.
